Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
