Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
It's official drugs can't kill me
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
