I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
