somebody snuck up and got me drunk
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
