Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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