Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
