when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
