R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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