Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
