so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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