look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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