you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
