If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
