Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
