I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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