Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
