JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
