All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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