dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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