Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
