Tell her she can't have a vagina
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
