I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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