Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize