I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
