I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
