I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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