...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
