I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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