my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
