Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
