She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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