where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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