i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
