I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
