My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
