I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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