I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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