Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
