I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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