I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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