Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
