He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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