it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
