I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
