party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
