Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
