I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
