That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
