Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
