you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
